Home Again
by whatdoumeanitstaken
Summary: Sherlock contacts John three years after The Fall. John is engaged and Sherlock just wants John to be happy. Its not as depressing as it sounds. Wasn't sure on the rating so let me know if I should change it.


_A generic fic appeared. _Yes, there are about a million of these reunion fics out there, but I've decided to put this up anyway. I'm basically testing the waters with this, so any feedback is welcome. Also, I may edit this in the future on the account that I sorta rushed writing this. Enjoy!

**[Unknown] Congratulations on your engagement, John.**

**Who is this? And how did you know about my engagement? -JW**

**[Unknown] Who's the best man going to be? Have you decided?**

**There isn't going to be one. Who is this? I know police officers you know. -JW**

**[Unknown] What do you mean there isn't going to be one? And I mean you no trouble. I am a friend.**

**Fine then. There isn't going to be one because there is no one here to fill that role anymore, if you must know. -JW**

**[Unknown] Well surely you could ask Detective Lestrade, or perhaps even Anderson, though I shudder at the thought.**

**No. It wouldn't be right. -JW**

**[Unknown] Why is that?**

**There is only one person in this entire world that I would have liked by my side. Unfortunately, he died. It...wasn't the most pleasant experience. For a while, I thought it wasn't real, or that he would somehow come back. But that hasn't happened. So I suppose you could say I've given up. -JW**

**[Unknown] Well, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that.**

**Imagine how I feel. So, sense you're a friend, will I be seeing you at the wedding? -JW**

**[Unknown] I doubt you'll be seeing me. But I may pop by.**

**Really. Well that's good then, though I would like to know who I'm talking to. -JW**

**[Unknown] I doubt that. But you know, John, I'm sure this friend of yours - the one who died - would have wanted you to be happy. To live your life normally again without him...**

**I doubt that I could. Not completely anyway. I really don't think I can be truly happy without him here. And my life has almost never been normal, so there's absolutely no chance of that happening. -JW**

**[Unknown] Does she make you happy, John?**

**...Yes and no. -JW**

**[Unknown] What does that mean?**

**Well, yes because it does make me feel somewhat better again. Makes me forget things sometimes when I'm around her. And no because she isn't him. -JW**

**It's rather pathetic actually. I didn't realize just how much he meant to me until he was gone. -JW**

**[Unknown] He made you happier than your fiancee? How? All he ever did was irritate you, drag you into danger and all that.**

**Yes, he did. And he did do all of those things, and more. He was childish, infuriating, and sometimes I didn't even think he was human. But he was. He made my life worth living. I owe him so much...-JW**

**[Unknown] Quite the contrary, I believe it is he who owes **_**you**_**.**

**Yeah? How do you think that? -JW**

**[Unknown] I believe I know Sherlock Holmes quite well actually.**

**...Is this Mycroft? If it is, this isn't funny. -JW**

**[Unknown] I know a lot of things actually. I know that the pain in your shoulders come back - a slight delay on your response time even for your shorter replies. I know that you're still at 221B and despite your recent engagement, you still haven't asked her to move in, though she may spend the night once in a while - sentiment I think. And I also know that you've never quite forgiven yourself for the last thing you said to Sherlock Holmes and blame yourself a bit for the fact that he jumped. When in reality, there was nothing you could have done to stop it.**

**Who is this? This really is not funny anymore, if anything, you're being cruel. -JW**

**[Unknown] You know who I am John.**

**Sherlock. -JW**

**[Unknown] Yes.**

_**How**_**. How are you talking to me right now? Where are you? -JW**

**[Unknown] Its a very long story. Would you like to see me, or do you need some time?**

**No. I need to see you. Now. -JW**

**[Unknown] Come to the door then.**

Sherlock took a deep breath and knocked thrice on the door to 221B. John nearly dropped his phone at the sound of knocking. He shot up out of his seat and crossed the length of the living room, stepping straight over the coffee table, and threw open the door. "Sherlock." he breathed.

Sherlock felt a surge of panic as he heard the scuffle inside. And then the door opened and there he was. He had the ungodly urge to reach out and grab him, instead he just nodded "Hello, John."

John just stared for a moment before reaching out towards Sherlock hesitantly, still not fully sure that the other was really there. When his hand met a warm, _solid _chest, something in him snapped. He grabbed Sherlock by the front of his coat and punched him in the jaw. Sherlock nodded again, both of his hands going out slightly to his sides. He had this coming, he supposed. John could hit him until he felt bad about it. Until he forgave him.

John punched Sherlock a few more times before he forced himself to stop and stumbled backwards into the wall, panting heavily. Sherlock glanced up at him and John saw that he'd given him a busted lip and a bloody nose along with a few newly formed bruised. "You...You were dead. For _three _whole years I thought you were _dead_." John stated, his throat feeling raw as he tried to keep talking. "Do you have any idea what you've done to me?" he asked, his eyes shining with tears that he was trying very hard not to let loose.

Sherlock's eyes watered from the pain as well as the state of his best friend. He turned to his side and spat before he answered, "I'm so sorry, John."

"Was it for a good reason?" John asked, voice breaking. "Did you 'die' for a good reason?"

"Of _course _it was, John. I wouldn't have just... done that to you." Sherlock's throat felt tight. "It was for your own safety."

John looked at Sherlock for a long moment before nodding. "Okay." he said quietly. "It...I forgive you."

"You have to understand I didn't-" Sherlock had started to explain when John's words really sank in, "Wait you... just like that?" John nodded again, leaning heavily against the wall. "Yes. I mean, I trust you. You're my friend, I believe you when you said you're sorry and that you had to...had to go. I just want you back again."

Sherlock's lip trembled painfully, "thank you..." He said, stepping him. He could hardly take it anymore. He awkwardly reached forward and wrapped his arms around John's shoulders, lightly, allowing for John to push him away, though all he wanted was to crush him tight

John circled his arms around Sherlock's waist and hugged him back tightly, glad that he finally had the other with him again. When John didn't reject him, Sherlock tightened his hold on him, burying his face in his own arms and John's neck. "I missed you, John..."

"I've missed you too, Sherlock. You have no idea just how much..." he trailed off, just enjoying the embrace and pressing himself as close as he possibly could to the other man.

"I do." Sherlock said, one hand going to the back of John's head. "I do know how much. I'm sorry I couldn't take you with me."

"Where were you?" he asked, pulling back slightly so that he could look at Sherlock.

"I stayed with Mycroft usually, when I was in London. Kept an eye on you, you know. I was worried. Mostly I was trying to untangle Moriarty's web of men." Sherlock made an involuntary disgusted sound, "I owe Mycroft a whole mess of favors."

"Mycroft knows?" John asked, trying to take in the information.

"Of course he knows." Sherlock sniffled, "And Molly. I needed their help. Couldn't have pulled that off alone. And if I could have, I wouldn't be able to come back, surely."

"Weren't they in danger too, since they were helping you?" John looked up at Sherlock curiously.

"Mycroft was protected by the government. And therefore, so was I. I had him keep you under close watch, and Mrs. Hudson, and Lestrade. Molly wasn't someone they thought I even liked let alone was close to. She was relatively safe." John nodded slowly. "But it's over now right. You're staying?" he asked, looking worried that Sherlock would have to leave only after such a short amount of time.

"It's over. Or I wouldn't have texted you. I wasn't sure if I _should _even come back. Maybe you would have been better off without me. But then Mycroft told me about your engagement..." Sherlock couldn't help the sudden sadness in his voice or the reddness of his cheeks.

"You're wrong. I still want you here with me Sherlock. I _need _you to be here with me. Nothing is going to change that." John said determinedly. Sherlock shook his head, "I don't understand..." John was to be married. They'd move off to the country side, have kids, be happy. Sherlock would be alone again, surely. John reached up and gabbed Sherlock's face, stopping it from shaking. "Sherlock, look at me." he said calmly and waited for the other to do so before continuing. "I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to break it to Mary, but I'm not getting married anymore. Not now."

Sherlock didn't notice he was holding his breath and sighed slowly when John finished talking. He blinked, "What... _Why_? I mean... you shouldn't do anything drastic on my account... Its really not worth it John. _I'm not_..."

John decided to take a chance and pulled Sherlock down into a quick, but still passionate kiss. He was risking a lot with this, but he couldn't stand the thought of leaving Sherlock alone while he went off with Mary. Sherlock winced, John crushing himself to his recently battered face, but then relaxed into the kiss, eyes falling shut, hands reaching up to hold John's face.

They stayed that way for a moment longer before pulling back. John smiled at Sherlock. "Now do you get it?" he asked cheekily.

Sherlock couldn't help the faint smile that curled at the edge of his mouth, but things still didn't make sense to him. No one had ever cared about him before. Not like this. Nobody had ever been willing to risk anything for him. "I may be many things, but I don't think stupid is one of them. However, none of this is making any sense to me. Why would you give up what you could have with Mary...?"

"I just... I don't understand. I don't get on with... most people. No ones ever sacrificed anything for me... Except maybe Mycroft"

"Because I love you. I'll always love Mary too, but its different than how I feel for you.

"And I like to think that we get on together very well." he smiled sheepishly up at Sherlock.

Sherlock's breath caught in his throat again. Nobody had said anything of the like to him since he was a boy. He swallowed and nodded, "I..." He cleared his throat, "I love you too, John."

John smiled widely and laughed a little. "Good. I'm glad we're on the same page."

"Though, technically, you _are _still engaged to be married." Sherlock moved his face closer to John's, "And I think you're a bloody idiot to choose me over... well, anyone else really."

John put his arms around Sherlock's neck. "I'll tell Mary tomorrow. Though you'll have to come with me, I don't want to have to break off the engagement by myself. And I am a bloody idiot, but you're a prat and need to get used to the idea that someone _wants _you."

"See? Still sounds like rubbish." Sherlock scoffed.

"Shut up and come here." John said before leaning up to kiss Sherlock again. Sherlock let his eyes fall shut. He'd never as much as kissed his Mum on the cheek, surely he wasn't much good at this. But John didn't seem to care. He smiled against John's mouth as he felt fingers tangle in his curly hair. "John," he whispered when their lips were apart, almost unaware he had even said anything.

"Hmm?" John mumbled.

"Nothing... just... thank you." Sherlock's voice was a whisper at best, he never opened his eyes.

"You don't have to thank me, Sherlock." John said back just as quietly. "Because if you did, I'd have to thank you too."

Sherlock's only answer was to kiss John again. "You know," he said after a second thought "Perhaps we should move inside. That is, if you're inviting me."

John smiled into the kiss and nodded. "Of course. The flat is yours too, no invitation needed but given anyway."

He followed John up to the flat. He'd missed everything about this place. The dingy wall paper - they never did patch those bullet holes... The crap telly that sat hardly moved. Sherlock's armchair... hadn't been sat in but a few times. Only by John, judging by the size and shape of the indentation in the cushion. It smelled like home. "John?" he asked.

"Yeah?" John replied, turning around to face Sherlock. "What is it?"

"How are we going to tell Mrs. Hudson?" Sherlock knew she was no fragile old bird, but he did worry about her heart. John paused, thinking for a moment. "Perhaps, we, that is I, could sit her down and calmly explain what happened and then you can come in?" he finished, looking back to Sherlock, appearing unsure.

Sherlock sighed, relieved he didn't have to ask. He nodded. "So she's well, then?"

"She's perfectly fine. And I honestly think she'll take the news better than I did." he said, gesturing to Sherlock's bruised, but no longer bleeding face. "I'm sorry for doing that by the way. Do you want something for the bruising?"

"I'll be fine." Sherlock smiled, "I had it coming."

"Yeah, you did. But I'm still sorry for doing it." John smiled back.

"Don't be." Sherlock reached out and touched John's face, it had several more wrinkled in it then he remembered. He realized that he was lingering there and dropped his hand a bit to fast, awkward about the whole thing. John reached down and grabbed Sherlock's hand, pulling it back to his face. "You don't have to be afraid to touch me, Sherlock."

"I'm not _afraid_... " Sherlock said, stepping closer to John, "I just... it's not really my area. You're going to have to... teach me these things. These _couple _things..." his voice treated the words as if they were awful, but he was smiling faintly, his thumb trailing along John's cheek bone.

"I think I can manage that..." John replied, leaning into the touch.

Sherlock took another step forward, heart pounding and put his other hand on John's other cheek. He looked at John as if to ask if he was doing it right.

John nodded. "Just do what you think feels right." he told him, placing his hands on Sherlock's shoulders.

Sherlock tried to calculate everything. John's expression was plain, looking up at him patiently. His shoulder didn't appear to be bothering him at all. He took a deep - and, to his horror somewhat shaky - breath and moved one hand back to smooth John's hair. Then he closed his eyes and leaned down, pressing his lips to John's. Perhaps he was getting better at this... Or perhaps he had just slobbered all over John's mouth. His face flushed and he let John go. "Sorry..."

John sighed, looking up calmly at Sherlock's nervous-embarrassed?- features. "It's okay Sherlock, you're doing fine. You haven't really kissed anyone before, right? It's alright, just try again." John rubbed a hand soothingly on Sherlock's shoulder and upper arm.

Sherlock felt vaguely ill. It was vile, what he had just done, wasn't it? Why did people do that? Then again, he wasn't thinking about the amount of bacteria when he was kissing John. Only that John was, thankfully, a very _good _kisser. And the only person he'd ever want to kiss. And that he was so lovely and patient. He pursed his lips, "I don't..." he didn't want to say he didn't want to. He wanted to kiss John. But he was actually quite embarrassed which was not a familiar emotion. "I don't know..."

"I can show you." John said, putting his arms around Sherlock's neck. "Just...don't over think things. I'll go slow okay." John pressed their mouths together in a chaste kiss, waiting for Sherlock to feel comfortable enough to continue.

Sherlock could feel how stiff he was, unyielding until John's lips touched his. He mimicked the movements, trying not to think about it like he had in the doorway. Instinct, not calculation. It was easier now. He still felt... scared? He was afraid of messing it up. Mary was probably a great kisser. Think all of this, his jaw locked, lips tightening again. "Relax.." John whispered against Sherlock's lips when he felt him not responding anymore. "You're thinking to much."

"I'm sorry..." Sherlock said, pressing his lips together in a tight line. _Dammit_

"It's okay. Want to try again?" John asked quietly.

Sherlock nodded, trying to loosen up.

John leaned up and kissed Sherlock again, waiting for the other to loosen up a bit before he deepened the kiss, licking along Sherlock's bottom lip. This time Sherlock just thought about John. John's lips, John's hand's, John's tongue... He kissed him back, interest peaked by the things John was starting to explore. People used their tongues... interesting... No, _John... John_... This was very enjoyable.

John was glad that Sherlock was finally getting into the kiss. And John was able to stop worrying a bit more about Sherlock pulling away and began to enjoy himself more. He decided to push things a bit further. John leaned his whole self against the taller man as he tried to kiss even deeper… get even closer…

Sherlock bent down a bit so the shorter man could reach him easier, following John's lead. His arm wrapped around John's back, occasionally closing around the fabric of his jumper. He allowed his tongue to play with John's a bit when they came into contact, ignoring the scientist in his brain yelling about germs. His fingers messed John's short hair, kissing him back with fervor now. John groaned at the feeling of Sherlock's hands on him, grasping as if he couldn't get enough. Not breaking the almost violent kiss, he considered moving them to the sofa, but he could barely control his limbs past touching Sherlock wherever he could reach.

Sherlock surprised himself when his hand was grabbing at John's arse. John made a little sound at it and he jumped back a bit, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be." John gasped. "And who said you could stop?" he asked, somewhat dazed.

Sherlock's eyebrows raised in surprise and then John's lips were against his again, his hand going back to John's arse. He closed his eyes again, letting John take control again.

John couldn't breathe. It felt like every one of his cells was trying to bring Sherlock closer to him. He broke away form Sherlock's mouth and began placing open-mouthed kissed down Sherlock's jaw and neck.

"John," Sherlock whispered, leaning into the other man's touch, sighing his name, "John..."

He decided to relocate them. Breaking the kissing for just a moment, John lead Sherlock backwards to the sofa, stretching out on top of him and continued kissing down his neck, worrying certain spots with his teeth.

Sherlock felt a strange, arousing sensation below his waist... He moaned as John nibbled at his skin, "John," he sighed again...

John felt Sherlock getting hard against his thigh. The very thought that John was able to do that to Sherlock made him grow harder as well, grinding down where they both needed it. He groaned harshly, now panting into the skin between Sherlock's neck and shoulder below him. "John," Sherlock sighed, his voice weak, "What...?" Sherlock was a scientific man. He knew what an erection was. What it meant, what its purpose was. But experiencing one was a whole different thing. Suddenly he was worried about what they were doing, how far they were going... He didn't really care about the fact that he hadn't broken things off with Mary yet. But he was, to his embarrassment, nervous and a bit afraid.

John stopped, noticing Sherlock's distress though his lust. He leaned back and looked Sherlock in the eye. "Are you alright? Am I going to fast Sherlock?" he rasped, his voice a few octaves deeper.

"I'm f-fine..." Sherlock said, the strange sensation distracting him, he couldn't look John in the eye when he said it though.

"Sherlock," John lifted his hand and cupped the other man's cheek. "Is it too much right now?" he managed to ask somewhat softly.

Sherlock swallowed, "Perhaps a bit..." He really didn't want to upset John. If it would keep him from Mary, he'd do whatever he wanted...

"Would you...do you want to stop now? We don't have to go any further if you don't want to." John told him, rubbing his thumb along Sherlock's cheek.

"I don't know." Sherlock said, honestly. He didn't know. He still couldn't quite keep John's gaze, his eyes flickering to all the little details of his face, the worry lines, the wrinkles in his shirt... He closed his eyes, angry at himself. If he was normal... he'd be fine with this...

John could tell that Sherlock was upset. He leaned forward and kissed him softly. "We don't have to rush into anything." he told him as he pulled back slightly. "We've got plenty of time now." he finished with a small smile.

Sherlock nodded, reaching up to wrap his arms around John. He pulled him down onto him, arms closing around him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry..." He said. "It's okay, really. I just got a little bit ahead of myself for a moment." John replied, laying his head down on Sherlock's chest.

"You shouldn't have to tiptoe around me. If you need some sort of... release... I understand its normal for males of your age..." There he went, scientifically speaking again.

John scoffed. "I'm not tiptoeing around you. And yes it is normal to want a release, but it is also normal to be nervous about having sex, especially if you've never had it before." he poked Sherlock in the chest at the end, making a point. "Stop worrying."

"I used to think I understood everything there was about you. And then you would always surprise me." Sherlock confessed, "That hasn't changed."

"Thanks." John said genuinely. "I take it that means you won't get bored with me then."

"You make that rather difficult I find." Sherlock said, the tension had faded from Sherlock's groin and he felt much like himself again. "Thank you... for being... understanding."

"You're welcome. Thank you for coming back to me." John replied, looking up at Sherlock from his place on the others chest.

"Always." Sherlock said, closing his eyes and resting his head on John's arm.


End file.
